Run On!

One of the views while running to the beach from my house!

The whole reason I started this blog was to track my feelings and progress on running and weight loss. Turns out, that running creates a space for me think about my life and weight loss has brought to surface lots of past life challenges. SO, what I end up with is what seems like a very random blog. It actually just goes to show how everything in life is intertwined.

Here is the update.

I have been the same size for almost a year. Total weight loss is 110 pounds. There for a while I thought I was going to drive myself crazy (Lavender too) with my obsessiveness and constant worry about gaining the weight back. I am happy to report that I am some better about it. It’s a progress. I think when you spend 2 years of your life losing weight you get at least two years of your life trying to figure out how to maintain the weight loss in a healthy way. I am trying to be grace filled with myself on this.

Now that we have the no fun yucky part of the way let’s talk about RUNING!

It hasn’t been easy with my schedule but I still manage to run. It is an important part of my sanity. I set a goal to run a 5k in under 30 minutes. I almost did it May. My next run is the Blackhawks 5k. I am pretty sure I can make this goal a happen.

I LOVE running in my new neighborhood! It is awesome. There are always people running and they are every size, age, and gender. I ran to China Town and Lake Michigan from where I live. Strangers out for their jog will fall into pace with me and carry on a conversation like we have always been running buddies. I often get live entertainment on my runs either by performers in the park or Mariachi bands practicing in their garage. My neighborhood is alive and full of energy and it fuels my runs.

The future includes the Hot Chocolate 15k, the Turkey Trot 8k, some TBA runs, and October 2013 will be my second marathon!

Run On!

Do you think I deserve less than you?

“I will be your friend and love you even if you support Chick Fil A. I support and care about you as a person. I want to know your thoughts and views. I want to be able to share my thoughts and views with you. My connection to you is deeper than a chicken sandwich.”

This was my Facebook post. I still mean it. I do want to be able to hear and know other peoples thoughts and feelings. I don’t know if it is because I am having a rough work week but hearing other peoples view points this week has been hard.

I celebrated my three year wedding anniversary. I had a church wedding. It was amazing. Listening to people debate if I can legally get married because it’s against the bible is hard to understand. I am not sure what the bible has to do with legal marriages because plenty of non-reading bible people get legally married. People who say they only believe in biblical marriage makes me wonder if they ever read the bible. I don’t see women legally being forced to marrying their rapist, legally becoming a man’s property, having to marry her brother-in-law if her husband dies, or husbands taking on multiple wives. I am just saying if we want to keep marriage biblical maybe we should think about what that means before saying it.

I work in state that can be fired from my job for being gay. I love my job. I work hard and put it long hours. I am always early and always stay late. Is it fair that because some person doesn’t agree with who I love, I can get fired?

And then finally let’s talk about family values. My wife and I we both work in jobs where we service others. She is a pediatric chaplain. She spends all night sitting with people in the darkness. She cares for children and their families that are going through the most difficult times of their lives. I am special education teacher in an urban area. As a family we raise money for various organizations as well as donate are own money. We donate our time and talent. And if you need a dollar, a ride, or a hot meal we are there for you no matter what you believe. Our daughter is a smart, caring, talented young lady getting ready for college.

The debate about Chick Fil A brings me a lot of pain. Not because I want to take away a groups rights to free speech or freedom of religion but because of what it says to me. It tells me that some people think I am of lesser value as a human. It tells me that some people think that my child is not as worthy as their child because as a family we get fucked when it comes to taxes. It tells me that some people think that in an emergency the person who knows me best should not be able to make medical choices for me. I want to scream at people right now, “YOU ARE NOT DEBATING FREEDOM OF RELGION OR FREE SPEECH. YOU ARE DEBATING MY RIGHTS.”

This is not a campaign issue. This is not religious issue. This is about me. I am your friend, your co-worker, your aunt, your cousin, and your niece. When you talk about these things to me, you need to know that you are talking about not giving me the same rights you already have.

The Socially Incorrect Kim

Tell people you have a child going off to college and they tell you “how hard this time must be for you” or “I hated it when my kids left me” or “I hope my child goes somewhere local I don’t want him/her leaving me just yet.”


I came across this blog post when I was looking for graduation party ideas, the author talked about how the worse day of her life was when her children graduated from high school because she knew they would be leaving her soon.


Are you freakin kidding me?! I am excited for the both of us!


Susan gets to create her own life. I am sure it will have its downs. I am also sure she will create joy and happiness for HERSELF!


I have ‘raised’ her for nineteen years to be able to take care of herself. She can cook, do her own laundry, manage her money, and make her own choices.


As a parent isn’t that what we want? To create independent adults who can succeed on their own in this world? If it’s not than shouldn’t we be raising puppies instead of children?


I am looking forward to the empty nest. It seems like that’s wrong to admit but I will anyway. I look forward to walking around my house naked. I look forward to being able to pick up and leave and not having to worry about someone else’s food or transportation.


Don’t get me wrong I also look forward to the weekends when she comes home and I can spoil her with her favorite foods and a pedicure. I look forward to holidays. I look forward to our new relationship where I am not the dictator. Most of all, I look forward to seeing her become her own person.


I raised her for nineteen years just for this moment. Why is that everyone wants me to be sad that it’s here?

Lois

in·spi·ra·tion
-the action or power of moving the intellect or emotions


The moment I met Lois, she was an inspiration to me.


She inspired me in my writing.
http://speakingaboutthat.blogspot.com/2012/02/life-lessons-from-lois.html

She inspired me in my painting.





She inspried me in my photography.

She continues to inspire me to be a better more kind person.

She will be missed.

Aunt Linda

A week ago today we were on our way to Kansas City. We were going for my Aunt Linda’s funeral. Even though during my adulthood we did not talk much, she remained my favorite aunt. Normally I would not declare such a thing in public but I know this comes as no surprise to anyone and I am pretty sure my other aunts understand.

She had this way of making everyone feel special. She married into a LARGE and LOUD family. My grandparents had nine kids. This equaled to a lot of nieces and nephews; I can safely say she made us each feel like we were special to her.

My mom lived with my Aunt Linda and Uncle Robert. So, when I visited my mother during the summer, I was also visiting them. They took me on adventures ice skating, magic shows, swimming, and fishing just to name a few. Aunt Linda always made wonderful dinners and seemed like almost every night my Uncle Tim and Mark would magically show up right when the food was ready.

I wished and wished they could be my parents. I even told my mom and dad that I thought Aunt Linda and Uncle Robert would make the most wonderful parents and that I wished I could be their daughter. (Not a smart thing to say to your parents when you’re 9!)
As I became an adult and real life happened, it got harder and more complicated to visit. Money and time were always a major problem.

She would send me the occasional card or email. I would occasionally respond back. She always knew what to say and was always supportive.

Last year, Lavender and I went out to Kansas. I had decided it was time for her to meet some of the family. Aunt Linda, Uncle Robert and their daughter were living with my grandparents. They moved in to help with my grandmother who is suffering from Alzheimer’s. Aunt Linda was doing most of the housework and cooking. I wanted to make dinner for her. I made one of my favorite meals. We had a nice evening filled with good conversations. I did not know then that this was going to be the last time I would ever see her.

I went home and continued training for the Chicago Marathon. Aunt Linda and Uncle Robert were the first to support me on my fundraiser for the marathon. That meant so much to me. I was struggling and to get their message of support was just what I needed to give my training a push.

A few weeks ago, I got a card in the mail. It is the last words I will have from Aunt Linda.
“Congratulations on your graduation and new job! We love the person you are becoming, the Kimberly we’ve always loved but with confidence!”

As I stood in my kitchen crying after hearing the news, Lavender told me whatever I wanted to do about going to the funeral we would make happen. I cried out I just want to make her one more dinner and tell her that I think she is amazing.

She was an amazing person.

Stole of Gratitude



Picture is done my great friend and the person who has been capturing my families memories for 18 Years, Dianne.
Check out her website for more information on her work- http://photographybydianne.net/

 I had never heard of a Stole of Gratitude before I picked up my cap and gown.

“The Stole of Gratitude is worn during the commencement ceremony. After the ceremony, the new graduate presents the stole to someone who provided extraordinary help or support, like parents, relatives, or mentors who have helped with wisdom, words of support, or with financial assistance. Immediately after graduation, the graduate may take the stole from around his/her neck and place it around the neck of the recipient.”

I am grateful for so many people.

I am grateful for the boss I had at Starbuck’s when I first started going back to school. Jen was understanding and great about my schedule. She made sure I had off for my school schedule, and that I also had time with my daughter.

I am grateful for my friends who encouraged me and believed in me. They gave me space to vent. They understood when I go months without talking to them because school was just to consuming.

I am grateful for my wife. She edited my papers; made sure I had space to study, and helped me out with anything technical. She took on the financial burden so that I could focus my energy on school. She loved me when I was a crazy, obsessed, and became to detail orientated about a school project. She helped me find 17 copies of Captain Underpants, create a crazy map, and write a paper that I just couldn’t seem to write on my own. Knowing that driving makes me nervous, she drove me to all of my Praxis test.

Last Thursday, the day of my graduation, I went to school early. I sat in my classroom before any of children came in and reflected on how I got here. How I achieved this dream of being a teacher. This is what I wrote on the inside of my stole.

Dear Susan,
I remember my first day of college and the note of encouragement you wrote to me. My first class was a speech. Our first assignment was to write a speech about a person who inspires us. I chose you. I included that note that you wrote to me in my speech.
You have been on this journey from the beginning. I know times it was hard. Every semester I would ask you to put your life on hold when I would say, “after finals.” I am so grateful for you and all your support. Thanks for helping my make my dreams a reality.
Thank you!
I love you.
Love, Mom

An IE What? In English, Please.

I remember as a parent sitting through my first IEP meeting. For those of you that do not know an IEP is Individualized Education Plan and there is a meeting once a year. It is for students that have a disability. My daughter was diagnosed in second grade with a learning disability. That is how I ended up in my first IEP meeting. I was on one side of the table with the ‘experts’ on the other side of the table. I remember how intimidating and scary it all felt. I remember everyone using words and terms that I didn’t understand. I left that meeting feeling awful about myself as a parent. I also felt after I left that everyone in that room was talking about what an awful parent I was and having a good laugh at my lack of education.

I remember the first IEP meeting I set through as a student. The parent brought her youngest son with her and shared her hopes and dreams for her children. She admitted that she could not help them much with their homework because she did not understand it. She told us that her five children all had different dads. She told us that her current ‘baby daddy’ was in jail and that her son’s father the one we were having the IEP meeting for was in prison. She worried about the lack of male role models in her children’s life. She didn’t want them to have the same lifestyle they were seeing. She told us that is why she is here. She wanted to make sure her children got a better education.

She left the room and the other team members turned to me and asked what I thought of Mrs. Z. My heart sank as I felt my nightmare coming true from all of my IEP meetings. I replied that I thought Mrs. Z was a poor struggling mother trying to do the best she could. I said, “I can tell that she cares deeply for her children and that she wants great things for them. She showed up to this meeting today even though she had less than a 24 hour notice, doesn’t drive, and is exhausted from taking care of a toddler. She loves them. That is what I thought of her.” The room chuckled and said I just needed more time.

Educators scream that they want more parent involvement but then talk negatively about the parents. Something needs to change. We are on the same team and we all need to act like it.

I hope I don’t ‘harden' over time. I hope in twenty years I can still see parents who love their child and just want them to have a better life. I hope I still understand what it was like to show up as a single mother with no education and sit on the other side of the table while the ‘experts’ told me about my child. I have 11 IEP’s to have written before the end of the school year. I will be leading the meetings this time. I hope that no mother ever leaves the room and feels like we are talking or laughing about them.