Jeremi

I have shared many memories with Jeremi. I can’t even began to count the number of times he was over for dinner and still here for breakfast the next day. He was just over for dinner a couple of weeks ago. I made Black-Eyed Pea Masala that night and blogged the recipe because he kept talking about how good it tasted. He was part of the small circle of friends and family that was at our wedding. He was a part of my family.

I have not given my daughter many positive male role models. Jeremi is the exception. I hope she takes away from their time together the way she deserves to be treated by a man. He showed a sincere interest in her life, showing up for choir concerts, birthdays, band concerts, soft ball games, and dance performances. He listened to her and did things with her that she enjoyed. Together they logged countless shopping hours. They were both into designers and loved to shop. I am sad that his two year old daughter will never have the opportunity to have him at her events. I know he would have been the kind of father who would have delighted in being involved in everything she loved.

Our friendship was an unlikely one. We didn’t agree on politics or religion. He had an expensive taste for the finer things in life. I can’t understand why anyone would ever spend over $25 for a shirt. The one painful thing we did have in common is that we didn’t feel comfortable in our own body. He struggled with his religion and being gay. Jeremi carried at least one bible with him everywhere he went. He read the bible faith filled and faithfully every day. He was raised to believe that being gay was a sin.

His funeral is on Tuesday at a Baptist Church. His family will all be there and I am sure they will be saying wonderful and true words about a great man, father, son, brother, and uncle. The one thing no one will mention is that he was gay.

Jeremi loved red high heels. He said they made his calves look hot. It is something about him that I bet most people at the church do not know. I will be wearing red heels to honor him. To honor all the great things he was that he never felt like he could share with the rest of his world.

I wish things could have been different for him. I wish being gay was not so painful for him. I wish he could have found comfort in his religion. I hope that if we can learn something from his death it is that we continue on a journey of being ourselves and learning to love ourselves for who we are. I pray that he has been released from the bondage that plagued him in life. I pray that we have the courage to continue breaking our own bondage.