Nana's Cookbook and the Kelley Thanksgiving

The beautiful china cabinet, dinning room table, china, elegant crystal and silver moved in at the same time as Lavender. These things didn't exactly fit the other things that moved in with her like the hockey stick coat rack.

These things, like almost everything Lavender owns, have sentimental value. They belonged to her Nana (grandma). In the past seven years, through the stories that Lavender's told, letters that were written from Lavender's grandfather when he was in the war, pictures, and a handwritten cookbook, I have learned a lot about the woman that was raised during the depression with 13 siblings, fell in love and stayed in love to the same man until she died years after him, fought for the rights of her disabled son to obtain a public education, and raised her granddaughter when her own daughter wasn't capable.

I wear her engagement ring. Lavender gave it to me at our "making it legal ceremony." It reminds me how powerful love can be and how much love can do. It reminds me to take care of my marriage and all the people I love.

Lavender and I don't have traditional holidays. We sometimes come close to what resembles how others celebrate. We sometimes do that "thing we usually do." We are a family that loves to celebrate so we ALWAYS celebrate.

This year for Thanksgiving we have three couch surfers staying with us, whom we have never met. We know that they are Atheist, Orthodox Christian, and Muslim. They come from all over the world. Of course Susan will be joining us. She is bringing her roommate from Twain and her boyfriend.  Our friends who fall into that category of "things we usually do" will be joining us for the 7th year. Our neighbor Mike who usually partakes in all of our family celebrations will be there. My cousin and his girlfriend, who live in Arizona and are more people we have never met, will hopefully be joining us too. This isn't the final list, at least I hope not. I hope we also have the usual "mind if we stop by" "can so and so also come" "is there room for me?" or the "we haven't seen so and so in forever so lets see if they can make it." This year we are celebrating on Friday after Thanksgiving, just in case you want to stop by.

We will celebrate the diversity of people. We will give thanks for the gift of being able to host and feed others. We will be thankful for the way that food and drink can bring together people. We will be grateful that the people who choose to come into our lives don't just tolerate each others religions, political views, gender, sexuality, education, and careers but celebrate these things and honor them.

This year, we will do this by gathering around Lavender's Nana's table and eating the recipes that she lovingly hand wrote. Recipes that she made to share with people she wanted to comfort, bring joy, or just feed in times of need. There are notes written next to some of these recipes like "My favorite" "Johns Favorite" and "Feeds 18." Food is an amazing gift and meant to be shared. I look forward to cooking with Nana on Thanksgiving and many more times. Out of all the meaningful gifts she left behind, this cookbook is my favorite. Sharing food is always an act of love for me.

Nana's Recipes that are being used for Thanksgiving 2015

Holiday Cheese Ball
6oz of smoked or chipped beef, diced fine
2 packages of cream cheese
8oz sharp cheddar cheese, grated
2tbsp. Worcestershire Sauce
1/4 cup  pickle relish
1/8 tsp of Tabasco sauce
1/4 tsp onion salt
dash of white pepper

Cream all ingredients together. Be sure they are mixed well. Form into ball and roll in chopped parsley or grated pecans. Serve with crackers.

Dinner Rolls
1 package of active dry yeast
1/4 cup of warm water
1 cup of boiling water
1/3 cup of butter
3 tbsp. sugar
1 tsp salt
1/2 cup of dry milk
3 1/2 to 4 cups of flour
1 egg

Soften yeast in 1/4 cup of warm water. Combine boiling water, butter, sugar, and salt. Cool to luke warm and add yeast mixture. Stir in beaten egg. Add dry milk. Beat in as much flour as possible and then continue to add enough to make soft dough, kneading 8 to 10 minutes. Put in a large bowl that has been oiled, turning dough to coat it all over. Cover and let rise in a warm place (85 degrees) until doubles, about 1 to 1 1/2 hours. Form dough into rolls. Brush top with butter. Fold in half to make parker rolls. Place on greased cookie sheet. Brush with melted butter. Let rise in warm place, until doubled, about 30 to 40 minutes. Bake at 375 for 15 to 20 minutes or until golden brown. Yields about 2 dozen.

Shoepeg Corn Salad

1 cup chopped celery
5 green onions chopped and the tops
1 green pepper
1 *can of corn
1 *can of party peas (I am not sure what part peas are but I am using frozen petite peas)
1 *can of French green beans
I medium jar of pimento (drain)
1/2 cup of oil
1 tsp of salt
3/4 cup vinegar
1 cup of sugar

Mix it all up.
*I am using frozen vegetables just because I prefer the taste of them to canned.

Cranberry Salad

1 pound of crushed cranberries
2 small boxes of strawberry jello
1 2oz can of crushed pineapple juice, do not drain
2 cups of sugar
2 cups of boiling water
crushed pecans

Mix and refrigerate

Nep's Dressing (Nep was the neighbor across the street)
First make the bread for dressing

1 cup of corn meal
1/2 cup of flour
2 eggs
1 cup of milk
1/2 cup of butter
1 cup of celery
1 cup chopped onions
1/2 tbsp. of sugar
1/2 tbsp. of tabasco sauce

Sorry, folks there is no directions here. I am guessing your mixing and  baking at 350 for 30-45 minutes.

Next
Corn Bread in pieces
12 slices of bread in pieces
1 cup of milk
1/2 cup of half and half
4 eggs
2 cups of broth
1 tsp of lemon pepper
1 tbsp. of chicken bouillon
1 tbsp. of poultry seasoning

Again no directions. I am guessing you mix wet ingredients toss in dry and bake 350 for 30-45 minutes.

Harvest Potatoes

32 oz frozen hash brown  potatoes, thawed
1 can condensed cream of soup
1 cup of sour cream
2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
1/2 cup butter
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 medium onion diced

Topping
2 cups cornflakes crushed
1/4 cup of butter melted

Grease 13x9 baking dish. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In large bowl combine all ingredients except for topping. Spoon into baking dish. In small bowl combine topping ingredients. Sprinkle over potatoes. Bake 45 minutes or until bubbly.

Asparagus Casserole
3/4 pound grated cheese
10 or 12 crackers crushed
2 *cans of asparagus spears
slivered almonds
2 cans of cream of mushroom soup
1 stick of butter
1/4 cup of sweet milk

Mix grated cheese and cracker crumbs. Place half of the mixture on the bottom of a long Pyrex dish. Drain asparagus spears and arrange on crumb mixture. Sprinkle with almonds. Pour mushroom soup over this. Cut butter over this. Add remaining cheese and crumb mixture. Add the 1/4 cup of sweet milk. Bake at 400 degrees for about 45 minutes.
* I am using frozen asparagus. Canned asparagus is gross, according to Lavender.

Broccoli Casserole *This is something that often gets served at holidays because Susan and Lavender love it.

2 packages frozen broccoli
1 can mushroom soup
1 cup cheddar cheese grated
1 egg well beaten
1 cup mayonnaise (not salad dressing)
1 cup cheese cracker crumbs
salt and pepper
Combine other ingredients saving 1/2 cup of  cheese crackers. Combine with broccoli and spoon into a greased pan. Top with remaining crackers.  Bake in a 400 degree oven for 20 minutes.

Cocoa Cake (This cake recipe is on the first page and is marked "My Favorite Cake.")

1 cup boiling water
1 stick of butter
1/2 cup of cooking oil
4 tbsp. cocoa
2 cups sugar
2 cups flour
2 eggs
1/4 cup of buttermilk
1 tsp of soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp vanilla

Combine water, butter, oil, cocoa heat until blended. Pour over sugar, flour, and eggs. Beat well. Add buttermilk, soda salt, and vanilla. Beat well. Pour into a greased 9X12 pan. Bake at 400 degrees for 20 minutes.

Topping
1 stick of butter
6 tbsp. of buttermilk
4 tbsp. of cocoa
1 box of powdered sugar

Combine butter, milk and cocoa. Bring to boil. Add powdered sugar. Pour over hot cake.

Mamie's Pumpkin Pie *I did an internet search and found some recipes similar to this with credit to Mamie Eisenhower. I am not sure because the recipes are not exact but I think the Mamie could be referring to First Lady Eisenhower.

3 egg yolks
3/4 cups brown sugar
1 1/2 cups pumpkin
1 cup of canned milk
1/2 tsp salt
1 package of plain gelatin
1/4 cup of water
3 egg whites, beaten
1 tbsp. pumpkin pie spice
1/4 cup of powder sugar
Pie crust

Cook egg yolks, brown sugar, pumpkin and milk in a double broiler. Dissolve gelatin in water with pumpkin spice. Cool. Then fold in egg whites and powdered sugar. Spoon into a  baked pie crust.

Easy Pecan Pie

1/3 cup of butter
1 cup of sugar
1 cup of light corn syrup
1/2 tsp salt
2 tsp vanilla
4 eggs
 1 cup of coarsely chopped pecans (The side note says, "I add a little more."
1 unbaked pie shell

Combine butter, sugar, corn syrup, salt, and vanilla beat well. Add eggs beat well. Stir in pecans. Pour into pastry shell. Bake at 375 for 45 to 50 minutes.

What I Wanted Vs What I Needed

I wanted a cat that would cuddle me all night long, even if it meant sleeping in uncomfortable positions. I wanted a cat that would convince me lying in bed for five more minutes was a good idea. (This is after of course I woke up at 5 a.m. to feed him.) I wanted a cat that would lay next to me while I lazily watched movies. I wanted a cat that would purr while I explained my hard day. I wanted a cat that always liked being petted.

Enter Flanker an incredibly handsome black cat. He could care less about petting. Waking up at 5 a.m. is necessary but going back to bed is just plain silly. It’s time to play. If his humans try going back to bed he brings them his toys and if that doesn’t work he zooms around the bed. There isn’t enough time for petting when you are trying to catch the red dot, attack an inanimate object that mocked you, steal things off the desk that really should be yours, run around the house, climb on everything, and kill the very dangerous fly. He doesn’t have time to listen to problems or cuddle on the couch. Moments matter and every moment needs to be spent playing, eating, or dreaming about playing. Sleeping with humans is a bad idea, after all he might miss something in the outside world if he didn’t sleep in his chair by the window.

The cat that I got gets me out bed, helps me view the world in wonder and play, and makes me laugh multiple times a day.

Moments Matter

I have a huge extended family on my mother’s side but I didn’t get to see them much. The moments that I have had with each of them touched me in ways that took the good parts of me and made them better, more loving, and more understanding.

I wrote a letter to my uncle several years ago because I wanted to try to express the importance of one moment he shared with me long ago. Saturday he passed away. I am grateful that I had the chance to tell him just how important this one moment we shared was in my life.

I try to remember that moments matter. You never know what small gesture you can do for someone that will give them the strength to continue.

Dear Uncle Stephen,

I have been writing this letter in my head for over a year now. Each time I start, the words just don’t seem to be there to explain how very important you have been to me. Then I found out that you are not in good health. This information makes me struggle even more with what and how I want to say this to you because I want to make sure that you know this is from  I want to make sure that you know this is from my heart and always has been and not something that has come to be because of your health. 

Some time ago, maybe 17 years ago? I was sitting on the couch at Grandma and Grandpa’s. You came and sat next to me. You put your arms around me and just held me. It and just held me. It was the first time I can remember being embraced by someone who wanted nothing from me. You were just you that night but I didn’t know that I could be worthy of such love in a physical and emotional way. I believe that we experience God through the connections we make and that day I saw God in you. 

I had bad things happen to before that moment and bad things happen after that moment but somehow that moment gave me a promise of what life could be like. It was times in my life when I was in my lowest that I pulled up the memory of that one night and used it to get me through. It gave me hope and showed me that I could be loved.

The connections and impact we make in life live long after us. That moment in time will continue to live on in the daughter that I raised, the friends that I have helped, and the inner city school children that I will soon be teaching because I know how important it is to just sit next to someone and  love them. I know what a difference that can make. One of my most important life lessons I learned from you. Thank you for the difference you made in my life.

Love Always,

Kim

Integrity or Scores: I Choose Integrity

My students are not standard. They don't learn at the same rate. Some of them are brilliant but not book smart. Some have a high IQ but I worry that they will never find a job.

At this time of every year anxiety is up. Teachers stress, parents stress, and students stress as we prepare to take the standardized state tests. It's how I will be evaluated as a teacher, how my school is evaluated, and it can determine the classes my students will or will not be allowed to take.

I hate this test. I hate how much focus goes into this test. This test does not examine the important part of my job. I sew buttons, put on band aids, provide food, give out pencils, and buy the occasional uniforms. I have listened to two different students describe how their mother was shot in front of them. I held a student that was crying while describing how he felt while he was being raped in jail. I have students that do odd jobs for money to keep their electricity on and ones that raise younger siblings because mom works several jobs. I have students that have been abused and neglected by their families and the system. I have students that read at a third grade level but better than anyone else in the house so it's their job to try and navigate the bills and our messed up welfare system. After I give them the attention, the love, safety and respect they deserve and have earned, I teach math and reading.

Fuck standardized testing. It will never tell the true stories of the AMAZING individuals I have the privilege of knowing. It will not show their life skills, their true academic growth, or their perseverance. I will never understand how the government thinks one test can grade the work my students and I do everyday.

Below is an essay one of my students wrote. If I am to be graded on just one thing, let it be this.

The school that I was at before was not trying to teach me anything because I was in a special education class because I have learning disability. The teacher treated me like I was dumb and could not learn. I didn’t do reading and in math I was doing work way below my grade level.

I came to school my 7^th grade. My reading level was at first grade and my math was at fourth grade level. I had some anger and behavior problems. I couldn’t read and so I made sure that teachers did not bother me by acting up. So that made me a little sad.

Watching my teachers reach out even though I acted up is the best model of integrity I’ve seen. They told me exactly where I was at and where I needed to be at the end of the year. My teachers treated me with respect showing me how to act with respect.

Applying myself has shown me the gift of perseverance. I tried to read but it was hard. I didn’t give up. Now I’m willing to read out loud in class. I have the wisdom to think clearly about my gift and behaviors. So now I’m above grade in math and improving my reading every day. Deeper understanding gives me self-control. I improved my behaviors a lot.  

I have compassion because I know how it feels to want to do something but don’t know how to do it. I’m writing this to encourage others. I want them to have confidence in themselves.

Letting my guard down took a lot of courage for me. I can be more for myself and my family and that is why I’m grateful to my teachers.