Status Update: Fucking Exhausted

I haven’t blogged in a while because I don’t know where to start or even if I have anything to say.

Student teaching is harder than I ever expected. I chose a poor urban school. I wanted the experience and an experience is what I am getting. The school is understaffed and the classrooms are overflowing. Every day I wake up and see the racial injustice we have in this country and how it affects my students and their communities. It is heartbreaking.

If you think that segregation is a thing of the past or that we have equal education in this country, let me introduce you to some wonderful eager willing to learn students and their teachers who are just doing the best they can. It is a disgrace that we as country can’t figure out a way to do better.

I also started working since my last blog. It is a mixed blessing. We could use the money but I am fucking exhausted. It also interferes with my running schedule but I am doing the best I can and I did complete my second 20 mile run. I am limited to running on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Unless, I can figure out a way to not need sleep!

Another bummer is not being able to spend much time with my family. My schedule is very demanding but I am fortunate to have a strong family. It also helps that my daughter is 18 and fully capable of taking care of herself.

On the plus side my new job allows me the freedom to be able to spend 3 out of 5 hours working on lesson plans and school related things. This is truly a wonderful thing.

I feel like right now I am just trying to get through another day. I am putting one foot in front of the other and hoping I am going the right way.

I hope I make it through student teaching without a mental break down.

I hope I make it through the Marathon with only three days of training instead of four.

I hope my daughter does everything on her own to make it through all of her senior year stuff and forgives me later on in life for not being there for much of it.

I hope after all is said and done I get a job at the end of this.

I hope I can help or least be the teacher to the student who helps change the inequalities of our school systems.

I hope one day I can have an entire day to do nothing but be with my spouse!